After more than 35 years in the financial industry, I’ve seen countless people wrestle with stress, and I’ve lived through plenty of it myself.
Money stress can show up in many different forms: buying a home, not knowing when to retire, refinancing a mortgage, selling a business, investing in the stock market, running out of money, or running out of time.
And then there are the daily questions: Should I ask for a raise? Are my spouse and I spending too much? Should I be giving more or less money to my kids or aging parents? Should I make this expensive purchase? Should I save for college or for retirement? Do I have enough?
It’s Not Just the Numbers
What I’ve learned is this: in most cases, the real source of stress isn’t the mortgage, the business, or the bank balance. It’s our thoughts about these things. I’ve watched clients in nearly identical situations respond in completely different ways, proof to me that it’s our perspective, not the math, that drives our stress levels.
This realization can be liberating. We don’t have to spiral just because the market dips, our bank balance is low, and the roofer tells us we need a $50,000 repair- all on the same Monday. There is what happens to us in life, and then there are stories we tell ourselves about what happened. “I’m not good with money.” “I should have done this differently.” “I shouldn’t have listened to my friend.” “I will never have enough.” These thoughts replay on a loop and fuel the anxiety.
If we could realize our money stress has more to do with our thoughts about our finances than the finances themselves, we could be happier, calmer, and wiser about money. It’s a decision to react the way we do to money events. After all, there are millions of people in your exact situation—or even worse off—who carry far less stress than you do.
The Real Price of Money Stress
Stress is costly. It affects our heart, our vitality, and our mood. And when it comes to money, there’s another hidden cost: stress actually decreases oxygen intake, leaving our brains less capable of creative problem-solving right when we need it most.
For me, money stress often looked like constant worry about my savings disappearing. Any financial loss, either through an investment or a purchase, triggered a story in my head that I might eventually end up broke.
The good news? You don’t need to grow your money faster to ease that kind of stress. Instead, there are simple, mindful practices that may shift your relationship with money and bring you more peace.
1. Take a Money Breath
Whenever you feel stress, inhale for 3 seconds through the nose, pause for 1 second at the top of your inhale, then exhale for 6 seconds through your mouth. Do this full 10-second breath cycle a few times.
Then, recall a time when you had less money than you do today but still felt a sense of ease and enough. Now, how do you feel about buying that $500 cashmere sweater or getting the unexpected roof repair bill? Maybe you still buy the sweater, but you do it more mindfully and less impulsively. Yes, you have to pay the roofing bill; but you see the bill from a wider perspective and are less fearful now.
